Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less

New York journal announces, "Twitter is the new internet corporation correct now...the subsequent vast Thing;" the hot York occasions calls it "one of the fastest-growing phenomena at the Internet;" Time journal claims "Twitter is on its option to changing into the following killer app;" and Newsweek notes that "Suddenly, it kind of feels as if all of the world′s a-twitter."

seeing that its construction in March 2006, Twitter has unleashed a torrent of self-expression from its six million participants world wide, who ship and skim every one others′ "tweets," messages as much as a hundred and forty characters in size. buddies use the location to make plans; relations use it to stick attached; politicians use it to foyer for votes; and humorists use it to ideal their craft. in reality, Twitter clients have reinvented the vintage medium of the witticism in a website the place somebody could be a Dorothy Parker or an Oscar Wilde.

Twitter Wit is the 1st compilation of Twitter aphorisms, with submissions starting from quotidian vignettes like "I guess in Sweden the Ikea directions are in English" to bumper sticker-type quips like "I imagine the chicken of affection is the dove. My husband thinks it′s the swallow," and individuals starting from celebrities like Shaquille O′Neal, Jimmy Fallon, Penn Jillette, John Cleese, and Steven Fry to general individuals with formerly unappreciated sharp tongues. that includes a foreword through Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, this approved anthology of the thousand such a lot so much smart and noteworthy "tweets" relates the range of human adventure in hilarious bite-sized pieces.

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Scottsimpson I informed a girl as soon as that she was once prettier than the Venus de Milo. “How so? ” she requested. “For one thing,” I stated, “you have palms. ” thewesterly I met a twelve-year-old chinese language sweatshop laborer and all I acquired used to be this awful T-shirt. cabel Potty education is completely the large Boss point on the finish of age-two parenting. mathowie gents, i've got a few troubling information. opposite to our longstanding assumption, it now looks that there's *nothing* past mattress & tub. nevenmrgan the 3 worst error you can also make are overpromising and underdelivering. dwineman If he’s a gentle Operator, and I’m a Maneater, what desire is there for us? pwilson720 * * * The Election whereas Twitter clients are available all alongside the political spectrum, the wittiest skewed towards Obama in 2008, registering their aid within the type of one-liners. be aware is, that labored out for them. Obama’s struggling with soiled now. He’ll use his “everybody who loves the USA, increase your hand excessive over your head! ” tactic within the first debate. FarkerPeaceboy i used to be observing PBS, yet grew to become to CNN, simply because they’ve bought the “tardometer” that tracks the responses of uncommitted citizens. jason_pontin I agree w/ John, it’s time to fireside the top of the SEC. university soccer IS UNCOMPETITIVE & different areas deserve a chance!! FakeSarahPalin My brother: “I don’t want an Obama bumper decal. I force a Prius. ” joeschmitt That gained. scottsimpson * * * professional tip: Naming your vehicle fix institution “Rim activity” isn’t approximately as witty as you're thinking that and can turn out, er, biting you within the ass. wryredhead Don’t damage him, Hammer. simply distract him. That’s the plan. bridgman I’m off to l. a. to shoot a advertisement and snicker cocaine off the again of alternative, warmer advertisements! yuribaranovsky the benefit of jury accountability in DC? There’s constantly an opportunity you’ll be making an attempt a member of the Bush management. anamariecox Ragtime is the worst style of track to get a hand activity to. ed_x productiveness tip: Do every thing swifter. carlmorris I’m beautiful definite each 3rd bark interprets to human as dumbass. ChiNurse I simply handed a billboard in Wyoming that learn “Earth’s ultimate Days Are occurring! ” As an early caution approach that turns out a section useless. elizabethlittle My internal critic is voiced by means of Jon Lovitz. He’s unusually reasonable. toldorknown situation dictates that i'm going to need to visit a Guitar middle to exchange my bass drum pedal. For my game. this is often gonna be grotesque. Michael paradoxically, the only Bond motion picture i actually are looking to pay attention Sean Connery pronounce used to be a Roger Moore one. Say it like Sean: Octopushy. Octopushy. stevewhitaker What’s the variation among Gary Busey and fruitcake? Fruitcake doesn’t constantly have rum in it. thedayhascome After deciding on up and bringing domestic actually hundreds of thousands of girls at bars through the years, i will be able to let you know this: I’ll by no means force a cab back. biorhythmist Google and me, it’s like we end each one other’s sentences. rollsjoyce Daughter requested me who was once the 1st individual ever.

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