Nobody's Perfect

By Donald E. Westlake

Comedian crime hero Dortmunder and his gang of bungling thieves are again in a hilarious caper--out of print considering the fact that 1979. Mishaps and misunderstandings strength the group to scouse borrow a portray now not as soon as yet two times during this hilarious misadventure starring the inimitable Dortmunder. Reissue.

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Gentle flashed from Chefwick’s glasses as he became his head. “The portray! ” Kelp cried, and introduced it like a javelin, and went less than for the second one time. 17 Stan Murch eased the Caddy round the nook and got here to a cease in entrance of Hunter condominium. so far as he used to be involved, this activity was once a section of cake. not anything to do yet sit down right here like a few employed chauffeur out entrance of a live performance corridor, then whilst the fellows got here out force clamly away. Piece of cake. the auto itself used to be a section of sponge cake, with MD plates. Kelp had picked it up for Murch this afternoon. A light blue Cadillac, it was once loaded with suggestions. Kelp most well liked medical professionals’ automobiles at any time when to be had, believing that medical professionals child themselves by way of procuring autos loaded with each power-assisting device and padded with each creature convenience recognized to the engineers of Detroit. “Driving a doctor’s car,” he occasionally stated, “is like taking a pleasant nap in a hammock on a Sunday afternoon. in the summertime. ” He may well wax rather lyrical at the topic. move attracted Murch’s awareness, and he glanced over towards the live performance corridor, on his correct. used to be whatever occurring in there? It appeared to him, searching through the row of glass doorways, that task of a few style had began within the foyer; loads of operating round or anything. Murch squinted, attempting to see extra in actual fact, and a type of doorways snapped open and a physique sailed out like a glider with no wings, hit the pavement rolled, popped to its ft and ran again into the foyer. Murch acknowledged, “What? ” by way of golly, there has been a struggle happening in there. a similar body—or one other one—hurtled out back, this time by means of 3 males suffering and reeling in a single another’s hands like a rugby scrum, after which abruptly the full dispute boiled out of the theater and unfold everywhere in the sidewalk. “Holy Jesus! ” stated Murch, and watched a physique jump off the hood of the Caddy and again into the fray. A face seemed on the windshield, and thanks to the face’s contortion and his personal astonishment it took Murch a minute to achieve it used to be Kelp, suffering to escape from lots of those that sought after him to stick. Murch honked the horn, which startled Kelp’s acquaintances, and Kelp scrambled off the hood and ducked into the Caddy. Murch stared at him. Kelp’s garments was once ripped, his cheek used to be smudged, and he seemed as if he should be getting a black eye. Murch stated, “What in hell is occurring? ” “I don’t know,” Kelp acknowledged, gasping for breath. “I simply don’t recognize. the following comes Chefwick. ” And so he did, tiptoeing around the sidewalk, clutching his black bag to his chest, relocating like a ballet dancer in a minefield, and whilst finally he slipped into the Caddy and close the door at the back of himself all he acknowledged, wide-eyed, used to be, “Oh, my. Oh, my. ” Kelp requested him, “Where’s Bulcher? ” “Here he comes,” Murch stated. the following got here Bulcher. He may be extraordinary while he used to be frustrated, and in the mean time he was once very pissed off. He had of his rivals through the neck, one in every one nice ham-fist, and he was once utilizing them as battering rams to transparent a course for himself during the melee, poking the 2 our bodies out sooner than himself as he walked, battering them opposed to raiding events at his flanks, and customarily slicing a swath.

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