Get Thee to a Punnery: An Anthology of Intentional Assaults Upon the English Language

By Richard Lederer

Get Thee to a Punnery proves that the pun is mightier than the sword . . . and listed below are sidesplitting puns of each colour, stripe and persuasion to fit each whim. whether you do not know that your humerus is your humorous bone, this can be the e-book for you.

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The most typical technique is to transpose components of words:• Psychologist: someone who pulls behavior out of rats. • What do you name a wood worker from Salt Lake urban? A Morman Nailer. • Trashy paperbacks come from the trite aspect of the racks. • an excellent masseur leaves no stern untoned. • a guy who hated seabirds left no tern unstoned. • A baker used a unique, multi-bladed slicing software and referred to as it a 4 loaf cleaver. • mixed charity drives placed all of the begs in a single ask-it. • One blackbird to a different: Bred any reliable rooks in recent times? • join up a bar: Our buyers input with a bit of luck and go away misty optically. • I’d particularly have a bottle in entrance of me than a frontal lobotomy. —Dorothy Parker A moment well known approach to spoonerizing is to transpose entire words:• Time wounds all heels. —Groucho Marx • tv: a collection of tireless tubes. • Hangover: The wrath of grapes. • Snuff salesman: one that sticks his enterprise in different people’s noses. • Budgie: Mother’s whistler. • Olympic officers: The souls that point men’s attempts. • Alimony: The bounty of mutiny. • It’s no longer the boys on your existence that count—it’s the lifestyles on your males. —Mae West • One frog to a different: Time’s enjoyable while you’re having flies. • Ecologists think chook within the bush is worthy within the hand. • whilst you’re on a vitamin, you discover waist is a bad factor to brain. • The Oakland soccer stadium is the Ark of the misplaced Raiders. • A cannibal gave his spouse for her birthday a field of Farmer’s Fannies. • Walter Winchell acknowledged that he by no means panned the hole exhibit of a brand new theater season simply because he didn’t are looking to stone the 1st solid. • a host of farm animals placed right into a satellite tv for pc was once known as the herd shot around the international. paintings is the destroy of the consuming sessions. —Oscar Wilde Spoonerisms qualify as punnery simply because they humorously compact or extra meanings in just part the gap that they'd typically occupy. one of many cleverest transpositions ever uttered transpired while an aged guy missed to upward thrust while a stout girl entered the room. She chided him: “I see you're not so gallant as if you happen to have been a boy. ” He retorted: “And I see you're not so buoyant as if you happen to have been a gal. ” the main gut-busting instance of prolonged sound switching is linked to Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle of the outdated radio crew of Stoopnagel and Bud: PRINDERELLA AND THE CINCE Tonce upon a wime there lived a cincess named Prinderella. She lived along with her sticked wepmother and her sugly isters. They made her pine all of the photographs and shans and do the entire wirty dirk round the condo. Isn’t shirty dame? at some point the ping issued a croclamation that every one the geligible iris within the state may still come to a drancy fess ball. Prinderella didn’t have a drancy fess. All she had used to be an irty drag. Isn’t shirty dame? So off went the 3 sugly isters and the sticked wepmother to the drancy fess ball whereas Prinderella stayed domestic. Who may still seem yet her gairy fodmother, who speedy became a cumpkin right into a poach, 4 hice into morses, and Prinderella’s irty drag right into a drancy fess.

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